Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
