p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Two words: blizzard sex
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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