i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
