In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
