My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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