my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
