Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
