I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She announced her abortion via fbk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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