He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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