would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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