She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Don't make out with my wife yet
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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