3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm passing your future prison.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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