all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
