I think I just saw someone hide a body.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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