I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
