I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think I died a long time ago.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
