I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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