I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
