sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
