dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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