You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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