call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
