I need help removing her.
and she was petting her beer can
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
50% drunk capacity currently
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
