brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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