I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
