I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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