I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
