he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
