Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
