How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
