I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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