why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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