chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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