dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do herpes really smell.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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