Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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