walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
