Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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