There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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