We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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