They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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