You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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