can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm at about main and main street
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
