i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
