Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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