I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
