Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
