i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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