I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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