Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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