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your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
