Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She told me I should be a condom model.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
