this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
